Nostowlgia
by Kinky Bootz
Summary: Drunken Daniel hobbles into an alleyway, finds a very familiar costume and bumps into it's owner. Hilarity ensues. Exciting owl reference game included. Now complete with an obligatory porn chapter!
1. Owls owls owls

**NOSTOWLGIA**

**_Very silly and very gay, sorry everyone. I've been lurking in the Niteschach collection for so long now that I just had to bang one out myself. Set around the same time as the beginning of the graphic novel, so you could actually just read this instead; it's got a happier ending. :D_**

**_If you can count all the references to owls, you get a special prize! This chapter is a warm-up, the next one will be FILTH._**

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Daniel Dreiberg was pissed as pissed could be, and then some. Gliding silently down the street, he was at the stage of drunk where he liked to pretend he was a beautiful owl, flying over the pavement.

His night at Hollis Mason's had been a particularly exciting one; they had discussed infrared technology for at least an hour and had watched a very good documentary called "OWLS OWLS OWLS!", one of Dan's favourites. Hollis hadn't had the heart to tell Daniel that he wasn't quite as mad on owls these days. Making up a wild excuse, "Yeah, uh, Dollar Bill is coming round to play Monopoly.", he finally persuaded Dan that it was time to go home and roost. Dan left dizzily, tripping up over Phantom the dog as he went.

Making his solitary way home, he felt increasingly the negative effects of emptying his old friend's fridge of all it's alcohol. And some of it's food. Daniel realised he would probably have to a) be violently sick, b) have the longest piss in the world or c) both, and would have to do one of these choices pretty soon. Rubbing his head, Daniel hooted in dismay; when the hell had he started to let himself get this drunk? Hollis must hate him. He had always prided himself on being quite a sensible, even a wise old individual. Apart from the amazing secrets he kept in his basement, Dan had always been the quiet bachelor, he was a square (or rather an owlish sort of shape), he was a cardigan wearer for god's sake!

Although, just recently, he'd been feeling a little ruffled about life's progression. Going from fighting crime dressed as an owl to watching documentaries about them, in a cardigan, it did something to a guy. A couple of glasses had recently been turning into a couple of bottles, and Daniel seemed to be experiencing what people affectionately call a MID-LIFE CRISIS. On top of that he really, really needed to piss.

The cold air had sobered Dan up enough for him to notice an alleyway coming up, the dark and deserted kind favoured by rapists and muggers everywhere. Daniel heard his inner-avenger pipe up that there was a law against this somewhere, meanwhile his inner-drunk insisted that you hadn't ever really lived until you'd pissed up a wall.

Dan listened to the latter voice and hurried down the alley, but declined the voice's idea of writing his name on the bricks.

**TOILET BREAK HERE **_(go on, it will help you empathise, you can wee-along-a-Nite Owl)_

Zipping back up he noted what a shabby little place it was, an absolute dream for anyone who enjoyed the scenery of dustbins and boarded up slums. Though to his left he noticed something rather out of place, tucked between two dustbins and gazed upon by an old 'Nostalgia' poster.

"Oh, uh, look what I nearly took a leak on... Looks almost like-", mumbled Dan as he extended a curious hand, and then he stopped dead, frozen.

Anybody else might have dismissed it as an abandoned pile of clothes, but Daniel's fuzzy brain screamed with undeniable recognition at the fedora hat, trench coat and purple pinstriped suit. He'd seen the combination a thousand times. Only Rorschach could dress like that and get away with it, although this was more from people's fear of broken fingers than a passion for fashion. Dan imagined to hear a gruff "Hello, Daniel." and almost pissed again in surprise, his stomach doing an unpleasant flip as he backed away, retracting his hand as though burned.

Why the hell would Rorschach leave his entire wardrobe here? He had always thought Rorschach never took the damn outfit off, that he slept in it, he'd always thought his partner had smelt that way anyway. Dan smiled stupidly to himself.

This meant that Rorschach was wandering around somewhere without his costume. Rorschach had another identity, maybe he was living a normal life when not behind the anonymity of his mask, maybe he even knew him! Daniel hoped he didn't owe him money. His stomach flipped again (it's an acrobat)... he suddenly found himself wondering irrationally if Rorschach had a family or girlfriend, the thought made him feel strangely sick... he didn't think it was entirely the alcohol. Maybe Rorschach was wandering around somewhere NAKED.

"Uhh, hell..." said Dan, tortured by this vivid idea, although being drunk momentarily blocked some of the guilt.

Daniel was not sure when he had first stopped seeing Rorschach as his batshit insane old friend, and had started seeing Rorschach as his batshit insane old friend who he'd really love to bang. Was it something to do with him being an integral part of his 'glory days'? A link to the years when he had been most happy, content to take on the world's problems in an owl costume, with his grim blot-faced chum by his side?

Even Dan could not explain it, his partner had always been so aggressively asexual, he fondly remembered seeing waves of disgust radiating off him, just watching couples hold hands. He remembered his partner spending every Valentine's Day flinching, as Daniel read through his hundreds of cards, hooting with joy. Rorschach was about the most unlikely and stupid crush he could have, he knew that... and yet he felt like he wanted to personally throttle anyone who might know him better than he did.

Just then Dan picked up footsteps from the other end of the alley; he might as well have had sonar hearing. Somebody was coming.

Daniel almost tripped over his own feet as he panicked, stumbling the opposite direction to the vibrations and ducking (or is it owling) behind a large metal barrel. Cursing the alcohol in his system, he wondered why he had put himself in such a ridiculous position. If it was just a normal civilian or even a criminal, he'd have nothing to worry about, he was a hero goddammit! Nite Owl II, hiding behind a barrel, was a stupid idea. Furthermore, if it was Rorschach returning for his clothes, he wouldn't react kindly if he found him there spying on him. It was too late though, the footsteps were so very close now and Dan prayed his hiding place would hold out.

Over the frenzied beating of his heart, which he hoped was only audible to owls, Dan noticed that the footsteps had stopped shy of his amazing barrel hideout. If his powers of calculation were true then whoever had paused, barely a couple of meters away, had paused right in front of the clothes pile and the Nostalgia poster. He could almost swear they had been Rorschach's footsteps; they'd sounded like the footsteps of impending doom.

An absolute rush of curiosity consumed him, Daniel HAD to see who was out there, he felt like he would quite possibly die if he didn't at least sneak one look.

Justifying to himself, with the help of Mr Beer, that whoever was there would have their attention focused elsewhere, Dan cautiously looked around the barrel with one short-sighted brown eye. The man's ugly profile was just about visible in the darkness and it took Daniel only a few seconds to recognise him...

The End Is Nigh man! He carried the placard, he was homeless, he had red hair! That was actually all he knew about him. Dan was relieved, this explained everything! He must just have seen the clothes and paused because he liked them, wanted a change from green perhaps. Maybe they weren't even Rorschach's clothes at all... maybe he was just so obsessed with his old friend, so depressed and drunk that he was putting any hat, suit and coat together and getting a great big Rorschach. And if they were his clothes then well, he should hide them better, anybody could take them!

Calmer now, and internally resolved that he'd been wrong, Daniel noticed the man was getting changed. He really should leave now, this whole situation was ridiculous. Spying on a complete stranger because you thought he might've been your old partner in crime busting, it was not rational thinking. Gearing up to slip quietly away, he accidentally noticed that The End Is Nigh man was INCREDIBLY buff for a homeless person. How did he get arms like that, and how did-whoaah... Dan blushed, he actually blushed.

This was a weird, weird night. He would never get this drunk again; his inhibitions had not just been lowered but shat on. Daniel was absolutely entranced.

After what seemed like an age he was fully dressed again, Dan breathed a sigh of relief, although the homeless man seemed to be taking something out of his pocket... something white... something that moved...

Dan froze. FUCK.

The unruly red hair and freckled nose (aww, baby :3) were vanishing under a mask; languid black blotches suddenly springing to life on a white background, as if woken from slumber. Fuck; this was Rorschach! Rorschach spent his spare time wandering around New York disguised as a hobo, with a batshit insane placard, and was ginger. He popped on his fedora.

"Hurm."

Daniel nearly exploded at the familiar sound. And knocked over an entire dustbin in shock; cans, glass bottles and all manner of noise-making items scattering everywhere. Just like in comics. Barely a second later he found himself dragged to his feet, pinned against the cold brick wall and staring into the most grim black and white pattern he had ever seen.

"Hello, Daniel."

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**_DUN DUN DUNNN!_**

**_END OF PART ONE. :O I am having sooo much fun writing this. XD The next part will be shameless smut, so please review and let me know how I'm doing so far; I'm a bit of a newb to writing fanfiction and would love your feedback! Please be gentle with me though hehe. _**

**_I actually don't know how many owl references I make in this, but you can still have a prize. Here it is._**

**_0^0_**

**_It's an owl upside down. HOORAY._**


	2. Conspiracy Daniel

_**Is that part two wit to woo I spy? Bad as the first part, only this time with more dialogue and smut. **_

_**Instead of owl references, you can now count how many times Rorschach makes unintelligible noises or thinks something is a conspiracy, or how often Dan says 'uh' in a sentence. Read the book, it happens A LOT.**_

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Rorschach was not exactly sure what to do with his overweight and drunken ex-partner, who stared at him from merely inches away, with a look of wide-eyed terror.

He'd never suspected that he was being watched; this situation hadn't occurred before and he found it even more inexplicable that it was Daniel who had been spying on him. A conspiracy perhaps, was Dan working for the government, had he finally gone the same way as Comedian? How long had he been following him for, how much did he know? All questions he wanted to ask, standard procedure, but for some reason he couldn't quite form the words.

Daniel. Rorschach had never trusted anyone else in his whole life, he'd never thought that one day he would betray him, should have been more careful. Less trusting. Dan squirmed and hung his head in a posture of shame and defeat, one that Rorschach had seen a thousand times from a thousand different enemies.

"Oh shit, Rorschach... look I didn't... look I... uhh..."

Dan was drunk; another sign of his corruption. He smelt like a bar and... and... something else. Nostalgia?

He breathed in the fragrance and his grip loosened slightly, almost involuntarily. It took him back to years before, when they were both younger and were still held in some sort of reverence. Those had been good times, he had to admit that... albeit reluctantly. Dan stared at him again pleadingly, with big owl eyes. Back then the city had still been a dying whore with rabies, but he'd never had to face it alone, he'd always had Nite Owl to confide in for a second opinion; standing there in that stupid costume with a smile and a useless fact about flight.

Not really so different from the man in front of him. Rorschach let Daniel go. It made no sense that he was spying on him whilst drunk; Dan would do it sober, probably whilst wearing his night-vision goggles and with more gadgets on him than Batman. Maybe this time it really was just a drunk man who was there at the wrong place at the wrong time. The conspiracy theory fell flat on its squidgy face.

Didn't really explain what Daniel was doing hiding behind a barrel though, furthermore it didn't clear up the problem that his identity might be known. Although he'd rather it be Dan who knew than anybody else.

"Drunk in alleyway Daniel. Hiding behind barrel. Must admit, suspicious." said Rorschach, bluntly.

Daniel's face broke into a relieved half-smile, he was glad just to be let go; Rorschach had been silent for about a minute coming to some sort of inner-conclusion and Dan had been able to do nothing but get the most spectacular erection.

"So. Uh... you're not going to kill me then." he ventured, unsticking himself from the wall.

"No need to kill you. No obvious threat. How much did you see?"

Daniel felt ill. _No obvious threat?_ He'd spent most of the night agonising over what a flabby failure he was, and now Rorschach obviously thought so too. Great. _How much had he seen?_ He remembered the face behind the mask, the red hair, how his torso looked without a suit and trench coat smothering it. He wished he could forget it. Dan found he couldn't lie to his old friend, things were already hostile enough and he didn't want to aggravate things further; Rorschach could smell a lie from a mile away. Hopefully he couldn't smell pheromones.

"I saw...uh, god Rorschach I'm sorry, I saw everything. I never knew he was you, that you were him, I... if I'd known maybe I'd have given you change once in a while." hiccupped Dan, hoping this would go down well.

Rorschach kept very still. He automatically re-adjusted the mask tighter over his face, as though for security. A small "Hurm" escaped his lips. The thought that Daniel knew how he looked beneath his face made him feel uneasy, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Pride perhaps, vanity? Stupid. He never questioned once the fact that Dan had stayed to watch him strip off.

Daniel felt more and more agitated, he couldn't believe all these years he'd never recognised his friend, had even walked past him on the street without realising. Rorschach knew everything about him... well maybe not everything, but still, it was unfair.

"Look buddy, why didn't you ever tell me? You never had to live like that, you know I have more than enough room at my place! I don't even know your real name! Nobody should be alone like that, it's CRAZ-"

"Stop Daniel. Disguise was perfect. Nobody ever suspected. Invisible. Read the city better that way. Also, had a flat." said Rorschach, with as much haughtiness as his monotone would allow.

His owl friend was being overly sentimental now; the drink was making him tiresome and unrealistic. Rorschach felt like he should leave soon; he had things to do, crime to fight, he'd already wasted too much time on a personal matter and his life awaited him. What was left of it anyway. He tried not to think about carrying that placard for the rest of his days and never keeping friends... Dan still smelled like Nostalgia, it was very distracting. He'd forgotten how kind he'd always been, so different from himself; soft, corruptible. Possibly homosexual?

"Sorry I just... look uh, I... I've missed you alright, I've missed us... it's been a long time..." said Dan, quietly. There was a long meaningful pause.

Rorschach felt slightly odd, something wasn't quite right with him physically. Was he sick, was it something he ate? He felt... hot. An uncomfortable feeling he associated with puberty and bad dreams. He wasn't quite sure what to do next, this was out of his comfort zone and he didn't do emotional reunions. Awkwardly, he offered his hand to the drunken man, as though reaching for a life-line; Dan took it in a handshake.

"You've always been a good friend Daniel. Appreciate your concern." said Rorschach, through gritted teeth.

Why was Dan looking at him like that, like he was about to faint? Yes he was drunk, but there was something else there, an anticipation perhaps. He could almost hear Dan's heartbeat through that horrible cardigan. Also, his own seemed to have doubled in pace. Suspicious. The silence stretched out and a few scattered rain drops began to fall on them both.

Daniel could not bear this anymore; getting a handshake from Rorschach was like getting a marriage proposal. He threw caution to the wind and pulled his friend gently forwards by his gripping hand, which had not known when to let go and was trembling slightly. His other hand found the back of his neck and doing a kind of lucky dip as to where his mouth was, Dan kissed Rorschach through the mask.

It was odd to say the least. A bit like kissing a statue with a sock over its head.

Rorschach's sense of shock was off the scale. He'd thought Dan had wanted to HUG him, disgusting in itself, but THIS?! Nobody had ever wanted to kiss him before and he inwardly loathed himself for finding the sensation not entirely disgusting. After about three seconds of Daniel clumsily pressing his lips to his, he'd been pretty accurate in his aim, Rorschach unfroze himself and gave Dan an equally well-aimed punch in the face and replaced him on the wall.

He had an overwhelming physical urge to replace his mouth on Dan's. No, he was free from fear, weakness, and lust- especially lust. He would not compromise his entire being just because kissing Daniel felt like the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Conspiracy Daniel. Good actor. Makes sense now. Drunk so not suspected. Want to slur reputation. Who sent you, why would you- mrrrggghh!"

Daniel still had hold of Rorschach's hand; he forced it roughly between his legs. He'd had enough of hiding, he'd been doing it for seven years and that three seconds had been enough for him to know he never wanted to kiss anyone else but Rorschach, masked or unmasked. Fine, he'd do this the hard way.

(Ha ha.)

"I can't act that, I wish I didn't feel this way but I do, don't you dare try and brush this off as a conspiracy Rorschach. How the hell did you think I felt realising I was gay?!"

"Have erection Daniel. Very bad." stated Rorschach shakily.

Nite Owl _wanted_ him? No, Daniel liked girls. He remembered desperately The Twilight Lady, Dan sneaking looks at Dr Manhattan's girlfriend, the whore, buying Playboy occasionally as a treat, smiling at all the Valentine's Day cards, wearing an aftershave aimed at the gay market. Rorschach felt disgusted, amazing and very, very confused. The hotness had not disappeared with the violence as he thought it would; he could feel it travelling to his groin. He felt like he was suffocating under his own face, like Walter Kovacs had picked this moment to decide he was a raving homosexual and destroy him from the inside out.

"I'm not the only one..." whispered Dan, looking down at Rorschach's crotch; which was doing a great impression of a tent.

"NO. Daniel. Can explain. Not gay. Could be Viagra conspiracy, must have been- mmhhnn..."

Daniel had placed his hand on the offensive bulge and had proceeded to rub. This was difficult seeing as there was a wealth of material in-between them, but Rorschach seemed to be feeling it alright; judging by the fact that he was breathing like he was about to give birth. Dan quickened the pace, Rorschach made a sound that could only be described as "Rraaaarrl" and much to Dan's wonder he removed the fedora and mask, slammed Daniel up against the wall and began to kiss him in a way that was both rather painful and incredibly arousing.

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_**BOW CHIKKA BOW WOW.**_

_**AND I'M GOING TO LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW. Part 3 (the obligatory porn chapter) will be on its way soon-ish, I was going to keep this to two halves but this is taking a lot longer than I'd originally thought; it takes a lot of writing to explain how Rorschach can go from crime-buster to sex machine in the space of a few minutes. I really should be thinking about my degree.**_

_**Feedback is always nice; thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, I loved and cherished all two of them! XD**_

_**For those who counted, you win a can of beans, well done.**_


	3. Filth

_**It's Rorschach's birthday. All he would really want is Nostowlgia, at last complete with it's obligatory porn scene.**_

_**This last chapter is even more ridiculous, with cameos from a stray fox and a certain moustachioed rapist. It is also a bit rude, in a sort of embarrassing, childish and puerile way. It's turned out about as unsexy as possible, although it does get a bit sappy at times. Every Watchmen in-joke I could think of got chucked in for good measure. Nostowlgia's become like a cheesy parody of itself. A parody of a parody, would that be a parodyrody?!**_

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For a moment Dan felt blind panic. What the hell was he doing?! He'd just thrown himself at a nutter who'd been quite capable of killing him and they were now locked in some sort of wet dream scenario. Dan hadn't expected to even get this far, for Rorschach to actually respond; now that he had to carry it through he felt terrified. It felt like a huge responsibility.

Did he really want this, _really_? It was one thing to idly fantasise about Rorschach, you didn't have to taste him or smell him; nearly get your jaw broken by a sudden onslaught of inexperienced kisses. The actual reality was pretty overwhelming.

But then again he'd started this and he couldn't actually think of anything he wanted more. Except maybe a great big owl-shaped cake to take the taste away.

Rorschach eventually released Dan from the clinch, untangling his gloved hands from his hair and staggering backwards, dazed. He looked lost and slightly horrified by the whole situation, like an overgrown kid after being told the truth about Santa. It was comforting that his face didn't have to experience this. Fuck. Did he love Daniel then? Had he been a filthy, liberal homosexual and somehow just missed it? He'd always thought their friendship was pretty normal, that he'd just never liked women all that much; that scribbling out all the feminine words from a German dictionary was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

Everything was so wrong. He felt like he'd betrayed his own soul; become part of the problems he'd been fighting so faithfully against for years. The inevitable had happened; _he was turning into his mother._ He deserved to die in the gutter along with all the other scum. What made it worse was that he'd started to believe that it was all worth it, for Daniel. Kind, genuine, pathetic, loyal, beautiful Daniel.

"You going somewhere?" smiled his partner, grabbing Rorschach's grubby scarf to stop him from retreating further. He'd never realised how vulnerable his friend was without his face, it was almost cute. Who'd have thought the terror of the underworld would have freckles, maybe one day he'd get to count them.

"Daniel, we can't. I-I have to go now." said Rorschach, his voice slurred from kisses, his hand straying back to his pocket to try and dig out the black and white latex.

"Jesus Rorschach will you shush and stay still for just one second?!"

"Hrn."

He could hardly believe his own mouth; whatever he had drunk had turned him into Dominatrix Daniel. It was his fear that Rorschach would disappear off into the night; he could easily outrun him after all. Dan had the nagging feeling that if he didn't convince his friend once and for all that this was a good thing, that sex was not just for whores and bad people, that they were just fucking made to love each other, then he might again go years without seeing him again. Daniel got down on one knee. Then hesitantly moved onto both and started to undo the belt of Rorschach's trench coat, ignoring the rain gathering around him on the concrete. He hoped Rorschach wouldn't brain him for even considering this.

"What are you doing?"

Rorschach's eyes had widened in indignation but he hadn't moved away, Daniel wondered if he'd thought he was going to propose perhaps; now that really would be a surprise. He'd never done this before, it'd only been a handful of times that he'd experienced it himself; luckily it had been from the Twilight Lady and she'd left a very vivid memory of what was involved. Rorschach heard the sound of a zip, let his head thunk back against the wall and scrunched his eyes closed in a kind of last-ditch attempt to ignore what was happening.

He felt Dan breathe on him; the sensation was a thousand times better than breaking his fingers. He really was turning into his mother, enjoying this. Rorschach slipped a gloved hand into the brown hair and clawed with sheer sad desperation, hoping his partner wouldn't hurt him. Dan's hot mouth slowly enveloped his length and every thought melted in the wake of pure physical sensation. Fuck. Ing. _Hell._ He bit back a moan.

Again Dan thought to himself that the first thing he'd do, if he got out of this alive, would be to give Rorschach a good bath.

If his mouth hadn't been full he might've laughed at this impossible situation they were in, indeed he'd have laughed his fucking head off if someone had told him, half an hour ago, that he'd shortly be giving New York's Most Wanted a blow-job in an alleyway. In the rain. Or at least trying to, his partner felt teeth a few times and he'd been rewarded with a few sharp tugs on the hair and even a strained "C-careful Daniel". He sure had to hand it to Rorschach for insulting him at inappropriate times.

Rorschach's outlook on sex had become considerably more positive and he thrusted back in spite of himself, Dan growing in confidence and pace, neither of them feeling ashamed as their eyes met involuntarily, faces flushed. There was a moment of calm understanding, an unspoken surrender.

Suddenly they heard a scuffling noise from the end of the alley.

Daniel made a noise like a plunger being removed from a sink (guess where I stole that line from) and re-surfaced, eyes wide. Rorschach got his purple-pinstriped pants up in a record-breaking space of time. They looked at each other in sharp anxiety, stumbling towards the sound, trying to look casual and not at all sexed. It would be a great end to the night if they were caught in the act.

"Shit, what _is_ that?" whispered Daniel, hiding behind his comrade. Rorschach picked up the nearest broken bottle and looked at it thoughtfully. Everything seemed shinier now, he mused. They watched the entrance to the alley, moving shadows lurked there and the pair was simultaneously reminded of how they fought crime together all those years ago. The perfect battle couple, ready for the most formidable opponents, ready for anyone that was stupid enough to commit sin whilst they were around.

A small fox trotted into sight. It looked sad.

Rorschach growled at it. Daniel gave him a disapproving look and shook his head, a perfect example of the 'mother owl' stereotype. He was returned with a petulant stare, as though faced with a disobedient child and he couldn't stifle a giggle at their eagerness; their battle-stance being directed at this terrifying foe.

"Don't like dogs. No moral compass." stated Rorschach, delivering a trademark contradictory statement without batting an eyelid.

"OK buddy, OK... though kind of figured you'd have an affinity to the orange fur, HA HA HA! Ha... uh... um, do you want to... carry on?" he ventured, risking a coy smile at his stony-faced friend. He wondered how many times they could get interrupted without Rorschach changing his mind. He was still amazed at the night's proceedings. He'd gone down on him. How... homosexual. It still didn't quite feel real.

"Hurm. Not a question of want. Think I wanted you to be a whore, for me? Dirty tactic. Funny, quite literally sucked me into it Daniel. Ha ha." he replied dryly.

Daniel could have cried.

"Ahuhuh... Man, I love you Rorschach." he smiled, meaning every word.

"What?"

Rorschach stared, saucer-eyed. Something inside his stomach flipped; he felt like he'd just eaten fifty sugar cubes, washed down with coke from a green glass bottle. The smallest hint of a smile crossed his fascinatingly ugly features. It was slightly disconcerting.

"Nothing, c'mere."

Dan pulled Rorschach towards him, who seemed momentarily stunned and docile enough to be actually pulled around, and resumed in kissing him, _like he'd never been kissed before!_ Sure it would take them a little work to get that right, but they had forever if they wanted it. Rorschach did something close to a swoon, knowing that somebody other than hideous fangirls loved him, although he'd deny this emphatically afterwards; as everyone knows Rorschachs can't swoon. It felt right, like they should have done it years ago. Things got more and more heated, breathing became heavy, hands started to roam and eventually a purple-gloved one shyly found its way into Daniel's underwear and-

"_Aww hell_."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, I think it was that damn pointless fox distraction. Could you give me a couple of minutes?"

"Hrn."

Rorschach slipped his hand back out of Dan's pants and started to walk away, idly slipping his face back over his face and replacing the fedora. Daniel was frozen in anguish for a few seconds and then ran desperately after him, a horrified expression on his face.

"Hey, HEY, where are you going? It wasn't you, I-"

"Misunderstand motives Daniel. Seem to remember you offering me a place to stay. If don't mind, in better state to navigate your apartment. Not running away if that's what you thought. Don't have to get paranoid." said his friend blankly, popping a sugar cube into his mouth and proceeding to ronch.

Daniel could only beam and follow him out onto the street, a spring in his step even after tripping over the fox. Unfortunately no spring anywhere else.

**THE EPILOGUE!**

On the way home they encountered Eddie Blake, who after asking them why they both smelled of sex and piss and laughing boisterously, decided not to go cry at Moloch's and instead told them about an interesting plot concerning a squid, Adrian Veidt and many more spoilers. Daniel and Rorschach immediately set about how to overcome this horrible news; Rorschach's plan involved a meat-cleaver and a fishing net and Dan's was the more realistic one of telling the big blue fruit all about it. And then they saved the day and everybody was fine and lived happily ever after. Rorschach eventually admitted to himself that he found Daniel kind of attractive and had some not entirely asexual feelings for him. He never stopped being batshit insane though, we can't work miracles!

All this was obviously after having loads of incredible man-sex as soon as they got into Dan's apartment, Rorschach discovering that Walter seemed to become more evident in direct proportion to his physical state of arousal. After trying to fix the door after Rorschach broke it down _even though Daniel had a key_. After Dan put his owl costume on. And gave Rorschach a bath.

**THE END**

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_**Well that's it now. Thanks for reading, remember to wash your hands. Feedback is nice and always appreciated. Even feedback telling me to hack my arms of so I can never write filth again. I always feel a bit embarrassed writing anything really dirty on here, I mean what if my mother read it. I could write a good, serious, smutacular HARD M sequel, if that's really what anybody wants. Hahaha, please don't say it is. XD**_

_**Sorry to use Watchmen as sex-fuel, but Alan Moore turned Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan and Oz into the sex-tacular 'Lost Girls', so nobody can moan much. On this website, 'Drunken Kisses' and 'Ordinary World' have the BEST alleyway make-out scenes I've ever had the luck to come across. Freudian slip there. You should read them!**_

_**Thank you for all the lovely reviews, I'm happy to make you happy! :)**_


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